Um, Dogs of the Military?
by MegaSliferSlacker7
Summary: Hm, what happens when Ed and Roy really are DOGS of the military? Read and find out!
1. What happened?

**MegaSliferSlacker7:** Konichiwa dudes and dudets! What would happen if Ed and Roy were REAL dogs of the military? Find out here!

**FlameDemon55: **Enjoy the fic!

**MegaSliferSlacker7:** BAH! What are you?! Oh forget it I'll take care of you later, I do not own FMA I'm just borrowing them for your viewing pleasure! And now I present...

Uh, Dogs of the Military? A FullMetal Alchemist fanfic!

It's was another day in central for the Elric Brothers………………

CLANK! "ED! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR AUTO-MAIL THIS TIME YOU MORON!" "WINRY WHAT THE HELL?! HOW WAS I SUPPOSE I WAS GONNA GET IN A FIGHT!" Yep, another peaceful morning. 17-year-old Edward Elric had busted his auto-mail ,again, and he had to call his child hood friend and mechanic, 17-year-old Winry Rockwell, to come an fix it, and you probably know what's gonna happen next.

"I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH IT THIS TIME! Oi, just give me the remains and I'll see what I can do." The blond mechanic yelled. "Um, when I said 'broken' what I mean was 'smashed to bits'." the blond FullMetal Alchemist replied. She grabbed Ed's most feared weapon, her wrench. CLANK! "YOU IDIOT! I WORKED 3 ALL NIGHTERS ON THAT AUTO-MAIL!" Winry yelled. Ed was rubbing the huge bump on his head. "JUST HURRY UP AND FIX IT SO YOU CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ALREADY YOU STUPID AUTO-MAIL JUNKY!" Ed yelled.

The whole room gasped. Bad move. REALLY bad move. All the military officials stopped there work and looked at Edward and Winry. Winry's lip trembled a bit, but then she bit it. She put her head down so her long hair covered her pretty blue eyes. "Fine." was all she said. She grabbed her tool box and put on her apron. "Win…I-" Ed tried to say. She didn't look at him or say anything, she just went to her cabin room and worked on his auto-mail. The entire military gave him a dirty look, even his little brother ,16-year-old Alphonse Elric, he wasn't really little he was in a giant suit of armor. "Brother you know Winry always fixes you auto-mail for you! She always means well! That was just mean brother, you really hurt Winry, you always do." Al scolded his brother. "Come on! She's fine!" Ed protested. Colonel Roy Mustang looked at him from his desk of paper work, which he probably wasn't doing anyway. "Your brother's right! FullMetal, that was a really bad thing that you said to miss Rockwell. And trust me I know women." he said. "Ya, that's why you can't get a date with Lieutenant Hawkeye." All the guys in the military mumbled under their breath. Riza Hawkeye looked away from her paper work, which was probably Roy's. "Edward I order you to go talk to her and apologize!" she said sternly. Edward, of course, just stubbornly looked away. KA-CHAK! She cocked her gun. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! "I'M GOING! I'M GOING!" Edward ran out the door. "Nice job Lieutenant!" Roy said. "Thank you sir." she replied and got back to work. After about 30 seconds Lieutenant Breda spoke up. "So, who votes we should spy on them?" he asked. All the military officials raised there hands and ran out the room.

Ed walked over to Winry's desk. "Win? Winry? Come on talk to me! I didn't mean it! You know I always say stupid stuff like that.-" "Here." Winry handed Ed a brand new auto-mail arm. It was shinny and even had his name engraved on it. "Win…" "I worked on it last week because I knew you were gonna break your stupid arm again. Now sit down on the bed so I can attach it." she said coldly. Ed did as she said and sat down on the bed. "YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" His cry could be heard from miles off. It always hurt like hell when his nerves got connected. The military officials decided to get back to work and Al was some where practicing his alchemy. Back to Ed and Win… He stretched and tested his new arm. It worked perfectly. Winry sat down on her bed and opened up her book. Ed looked at her sad face and felt like a spear had been stabbed through his heart. He walked over to her bed and sat beside her. "Winry, I sorry for what I said. I'm the one that's stupid. I hurt you and I'm truly sorry Win." he said. "Ya your right, you are stupid." she laughed and grave him a hug. He blushed scarlet red, secretly, he liked Winry, and I say 'like' I mean 'like love' so did she, but she kept it hidden also. "Hey! You never were really mad at me were you!" he said. "Maybe…" she teased him. "Well until you answer I'm going to have to use drastic measures!" he smirked and picked her up and propped her over his shoulders. "Ed…! Put meeee doooowwwnn!" she screamed. "Sorry! I can't do that Win! Ahhahahaha!" he laughed. He ran out of the room with Winry on his shoulders. He ran into the office and past Al. "Edward Elric put me down this instant! Whoa! Careful!" she screamed. "Awww! I wouldn't drop such a pretty girl now would I!" He laughed and Winry blushed. "Well, I guess he apologized!" Al said. Ed ran to his cabin room and propped Winry on the bed. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him 2 inches from her face. "You didn't think you would get away with that, did you?" she laughed. He kissed her on the lips and pulled away leaving Winry with a red and surprised face. "Yep." he smirked and left the room. "Wow." was all Winry could say. She heard a loud crash and ran outside.

"Ed!" she screamed. There was a strange man in the front of the room with a dark green cape and red hair, red eyes, and a black suit. Ed, Al, and Roy were standing out in front ready to use their alchemy and the rest of the military had their guns out. Black Hayate was growling and barking. Ed clapped hid hands together and turned his auto-mail arm into a sword. The man smirked. "State you presence sir!" Roy yelled. "Auto-mail huh? And alchemy? You must be the runt Edward Elric they call the FullMetal Alchemist. And the suit of armor over there must be your brother, Alphonse Elric, the boy who lost his body and kept his soul. And the famous flame alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang. Oh look, we have the rest of the military here to. And what's this? The runt has a girlfriend? How sweet. I bet seeing her blood on my hands will be even sweeter." he hissed and licked his lips. Winry backed up and Edward tried to slice the man. "You Bastard!" Ed shouted. The man wiped the blood off his arm. "Calm down boy, I'm not here for violence I just needed to drop something of so you can be out of my way for the rest of the week. Ah you are what some call dogs of the military? Hum, I think I can make that entirely true." he said and used his dark green alchemy and made a small black ball. He recited a poem.

"_For the Colonel and the FullMetal_

_for those to who dare to oppose me_

_They shall pay_

_They shall be canine_

_If they do not find love_

_Forever they shall be trapped in the spell above."_

He through the ball at Edward and Roy and every thing went black. Ed and Roy fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Dogs of the Military and arangements

The next day...

Ed woke up groggily. "Owwwwwwwwwww…… My head…… Wh- Where am I? What happened to that creep? Were is everybody? Wha- Why do I feel lighter? And Why do I feel fuzzy? And why do I feel like scratching myself?" Ed looked around. He was on the ground and the others were past out around him and- Hey, is that a puppy? It looks sort of like…. Colonel Mustang?! A black puppy with Black dog ears jet black hair at the top of its head, like Mustang, and it's eyes were shinning gray, like Mustang, and it had white gloves with Mustangs symbol, like the gloves Mustang wears when he uses alchemy. And it had a blue colonel's jacket like Mustang's. Weird… the puppy's getting up." Ed said. "Edward! It's me Roy! What the hell happened to us?! Why are we puppies?! I think that creep from earlier did this to us!" It said, wait… A talking puppy! "What do you mean Roy?!" Ed asked. "Look in the mirror!" Puppy Roy yelled. Ed looked in the mirror. He saw a blond puppy with a dark blond tail, dark blond bangs small braids at the back of his head. It had a small auto-mail leg in the front and a small auto-mail hind leg. It had a red cape on it's back and Ed's black long sleeve shirt he always wore. "Is… IS THAT ME?!" Puppy Ed panicked. "I'm afraid so, and that creep said that until we find true love we stuck being puppies!" Puppy Roy said. "Well there's only one thing to do at a time like this." Puppy Ed said. "What?" Puppy Roy asked. "PANIC!!!" Puppy Ed yelled. They got on their hind legs and through their paws in they air yelling screaming and running in circles.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The others started to wake up and Black Hayate started barking. "Am I hallucinating or is there to puppies dressed like Ed and Roy running around in circles screaming?" Winry asked. "I see them. How about you guys?" Riza asked. Everyone nodded. Riza picked up puppy Roy. "Is this one a boy?" she asked and looked down at the dog but he used his paws to cover himself. Riza laughed and looked at him. "Awww! He's cute! He looks like the Colonel!" she said. Winry walked over to Puppy Ed and picked him up. She rustled his hair and rubbed her nose against his. "He's sooooo cute! He looks just like Ed!" she squealed.

Ed was to busy taking advantage of the view down her shirt. "Thanks! From this view, you're pretty cute too!" Puppy Ed said. "Eeeeek!!! A talking puppy!" Winry screamed. "Ow! Winry do you mind not screaming so loud! I have sensitive ears!" Puppy Ed covered his ears with his paws. "Lieutenant! Don't look down there! Sheesh! Perverts! And thank you! And you're pretty cute too!" Puppy Roy blushed. "Edward? Roy?" the guys at HQ asked. "Who dose it look like! Just because I'm 11½ inches tall I'm still the leader of you dorks! That creep from earlier turned us into puppies and they only way to get back to normal is to find true love! How the hell are we suppose to do that!" Puppy Roy yelled. "Damn it! I waited 2 years to get taller and now I'm short again! WAH!!!" Puppy Edward cried. "Hey wait if I'm an anime animal that can talk, I can pull stuff out of nowhere!" Puppy Ed pulls out a ham sandwich. "NEAT!" Puppy Ed smiled and sat and eats the sandwich. "How are we suppose to live?! What will we eat?! How will we dress?! Who will take care of us?! We need owners for now! WE HAVE NO THUMBS! WAH!!!" Puppy Roy yelled. "Well guys, give us the your standards for a owner." Riza stated.

"I'll start," Puppy Roy said. He pulled a list and spectacles out of nowhere and started reading. Everyone sweat dropped. "I need someone strict but with a kind heart, a girl, someone who will make sure I don't slack off, a girl, someone to help me with my problems, and someone to comfort me when I'm sad, and a girl. There I'm done." Puppy Roy said and put the list and glasses back behind his back. "Okay, Riza Hawkeye it is!" Havoc said. "Wha-" Riza said and Puppy Roy jumped in her arms like a baby. "YAY!" Puppy Roy cheered and through his arms in the air.

"Okay I need a person to fix my auto-mail, be caring, kind, feed me, someone close to me and who knows how take care of me, and FEED ME, and someone who dose NOT like cats or hides cats in there armor!" Ed said scooting away from Al. "I think Winry should watch you!" Al suggested. "Thank you Al!" Puppy Ed shouted. Puppy Ed and Puppy Roy stood on their hind legs and celebrated! "I have to get back to my granny so I'll be taking Ed back to Resembol with me but I'll be back next week with Ed though." Winry said. "Okay Winry." Al said. Puppy Roy and Puppy Ed where to busy dancing and throwing confetti to pay attention to anything until Winry called for Puppy Ed. "Come on Ed time to go!" she yelled. Puppy Ed came running and he jumped into Winry's arms. He put on the cutest face ever and snuggled closer to her. "Awwwww! He's so cute!" she squealed and cuddled him in her arms rocking him like a baby. "Would you like to sleep on my bed tonight?" she asked. Puppy Ed nodded his head about 20 times.


	3. Ed and Winry

Ed and Winry

Winry carried puppy Ed to her room and put him on her bed. She went her bathroom to shower and change and Puppy Ed was holding his feet and bouncing up and down the bed. "Hum? What can I do in Winry's room while she's away? DIARY!" Puppy Ed thought. He was about to get off the bed when Winry came out only in a towel. His jaw dropped, drool started coming down his mouth, and he started panting like mad. He rolled over on his back and panted heavily. She walked over to him and rubbed his tummy. She went to the bathroom and got dressed. She came out and picked Puppy Ed up and took him in the bathroom. "What are you doing?" he asked as she filled the tub with hot water and bubbles.

"I'm gonna give you a bath." she answered.

"WHAT?!"

"Winry I can bath myself!" he protested. "You can't even pick up the soap! I've known you since we were 2 and I've seen you naked before anyway." she stated. "You WHAT?! When?!" He panicked. "Last year. You came out of the shower with only a towel on. You're pretty buff too." She blushed at what she said. "Um, thanks……" he said. "Uh, Here I'll help you." she pulled off his gloves, than his cape, than his shirt and then she undid his blonde braid. She lifted him out into the tub and poured some shampoo into her hands. She scrubbed and ran her hands through his hair. She scratched his head and behind his ears. He felt soooooooooo good. You could swear to god you could here a little moan come from him.

"Um, Winry, I was thinkin' when I get Al's body back, I might want to keep my auto-mail limbs……" he said nervously. She rubbed his back again to make him less tense. "Sounds good! You're my favorite costumer!" she said. "Good to know! RUFF! RUFF!" he barked and wagged his tiny tail. "You're barking now? Hahaha!" she giggled and scratched his ears and he wagged his little tail faster. "Aw! You like that don't you?!" she giggled. "Do not!" he replied and tried to step on his tail. "Do to!" "Do not!" "Do to!" "Do no- Ahhhhhhhh……" Winry rubbed his stomach. "Sure you don't…" she said sarcastically. She got a bowl and filled it with water then rinsed him with it. She picked him up out of the tub and dried him with a towel. "Whimper!Whimper I'm done already?! Awwwwww man………" he whined.

"I can still rub you!" she laughed and pulled red tiny PJ's out of her bag. "What is that?" Puppy Ed asked. "Some clothes that Den got for his birthday when he was a pup, I thought you could use them as pajamas!" she said. "Hell no I'm not wearing that!" Puppy Ed yelled. Winry picked him up and rubbed him. "Now will you wear them?" she asked smiling. "O-Okay W…Winry!" he said dazedly. She put them on him and put his hair back in it's braid. "Don't you look cute?" she picked him up and sat on the bed with him on her lap. "Ya whatever, you owe me a free rub!" he crossed his arms. "Fine." she rubbed his head then he rolled over so she could rub his stomach. He dug under the covers with her and curled up by her chest. She smiled and watched him snuggle closer to her.

"Sweet dreams Ed……" she whispered and fell asleep.


	4. Roy and Riza

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a SUPER long while well this is the chapter with Roy and Riza!**

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Riza opened the door to her apartment. Puppy Roy ran in. He jumped on Black Hayate's doggy-bed. Black Hayate growled. "Now sir, I have to go to the grocery store so you behave," Riza said, closing the door.

Roy smirked and soon as she left. "Now…..what to do, what to do…." He said slyly. He trotted over to Riza's room. But before he could enter her room, Black Hayate growled and blocked the door.

"Hey! Stay away from master's attire," he growled. Roy blinked. "Oh yea…..I speak dog…" He thought. "Hey mutt get out of my way!" Roy barked. Black Hayate smirked. "This is my territory little guy, so buzz off," he said. Roy twitched. "How dare you oppose me! I'm the flame alchemist! I…." Roy blabbed on and Black Hayate yawned. He whacked Roy away with his paw.

Roy shook his ears. "Okay, you wanna go?! Let's go!" He growled & charged at Black Hayate. Black Hayate jumped out of the way. "I'm a military dog, not some stupid puppy," Black Hayate scoffed. "Well…..well you have a funny name!" Roy barked. "You are supposed to be a Colonel, and look. You are a tiny pup." Black Hayate said. Roy growled. "Okay, you, the lieutenant is, okay I wanna snoop! And besides, wouldn't you like to see what you 'masters' stuff is like?" Roy asked. "I live here, I already know everything," Black Hayate said. "Aw come on B.H.! You can't know EVERYTHING about Hawkeye!" Roy said. Black Hayate thought for a second. "Fine," he sighed.

"YAHOO!" Roy charged into Riza's room. He stopped on his front paws. The room was a dark blue with a gold pattern. He jumped on to her bed. He looked at her bedside table to see a picture of himself. "Hey, I look good," He said slyly. Black Hayate chuckled. "The Master looks at that picture every night, and she always looks so lonely," He sighed. Roy whimpered and tucked his tail between his legs. Roy hopped off the bed and too the bathroom. He saw a small black cloth on the counter. "What's that?" He asked and pulled it down with his mussel.

He blushed. "I….I…I didn't know Hawkeye would wear something like THIS…." He squeaked. It was a very, um, showy black lace bra. He coughed and put it in his little bag. Black Hayate rolled his eyes. Roy trotted out of the bathroom and dug under the bed. "Okay…..guns, a sweater, another gun, oooh!" Roy pulled out a small brown notebook. He opened it and read in Riza's handwriting.

_Dear Journal,_

_God the Colonel is such an idiot!_

"Why does that HAVE to be the first thing I freaking read…" Roy muttered.

_He fell asleep on his desk…..again. But that's what my gun is for. And another one of his stupid girlfriends came by the office today, that damn pervert. All he cares about is a nice ass. A pretty girl. That's why he never notices me. Oh well, I guess I better get ready for work tomorrow._

_Signed, _

_Riza Hawkeye_

"Is that what she thinks of me?" Roy asked. "That's what EVERYONE thinks of you," Black Hayate said. Roy closed the journal. "Well then! I'll just have to show her that I'm not just looking for a nice body!" Roy exclaimed. "Pff, good luck with that," Black Hayate scoffed. "You are seriously starting to-" "Colonel? Black Hayate? I'm back!" Riza called. Roy and Black Hayate jumped. They sneaked out of her room and to Riza's feet. They barked and wagged their tails. _I'll show you Riza Hawkeye!_

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**What does this mischievous puppy have in store for our favorite gunman? As soon as I figure that out I'll be sure to make a new chapter!**


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